Have you ever wished you could go back in time? I'm not being greedy, I'm just talking about maybe 5 minutes or so? Nothing that would be too "back to the future-ish" that could affect the here and now....5 minutes would be good...
Last night I was walking through my dining room (well what's suppose to be a dining room but is more like my game room with my pool table in it) and I saw one of Danny's T-ball cleats making its escape from it's partner. I gave it a little kick...with that I felt a sharp pain shoot through my big toe....@*&$@*(#$&@#*($ a string of obscenties that would make a sailor blush came spewing from my mouth. I hobbled over to my couch to survey the damage.
I don't think anybody knows this but I'm very squeemish about toe nails and eyes. Anything having to do with toe nails and eyes...it's instant heebie jeebies. Every time that commercial comes on for the toenail fungus stuff....and that thing is popping up that crusty toe nail........excuse me..... I just threw up in my mouth a little...be right back....
Now that I've rinsed and gargled....I shall continue.
So last night I was trying to put on my copper sneakers to compliment my ensemble. I could not do this without a great deal of discomfort. My little piggie was oinking like it was on its way to slaughter!
As it stands right now, I'm limited to my choice of foot fashions. I am even afraid to give them a nice new coat of polish. The one thats on them now is in rough shape but I'm afraid of anything seeping through the San Andreas fault that makes its way from left to right.
So...do I leave it alone? Do I try to remove it? I'm afraid during routine maintenance it will be worse but if I don't clip on occasion, it will get longer and be more irritated or worse...the crack will expand. It's little neighbor to the left keeps wandering over there...feeling if it's shifted more....it's like rubberneckers at a car accident....it won't stop no matter how gross.
It's even popping up from it's bed a little bit...How can I wear open toe shoes now? Is my whole summer going to be ruined by this? I'm afraid if I expose it, people will scream and run the other way....what's my alternative? Will I be able to set up a booth at the fair and charge people a quarter to look at it?
Just as I type this, I cross my ankles....my left foot bushes over the top of my right causing another twinge through me.....
I guess I should stop doing this blog...I know you're thinking what the f**k is her problem she keeps droning on about this....well...I'm stalling...I have cleaning to do and I said to myself...."Self....(lol) after you get this blog done...you MUST get caught up on that laundry...." so of course....I keep going on....
But the time has come I kick this to the curb...with my left foot of course and git r dun.
So much for this little piggie going to market...I wonder if it would qualify for a handicapped parking spot?
